Friday, April 28, 2017

Great Villains Blogathon: Richard Attenborough in BRIGHTON ROCK (1947).

This is my contribution to the Great Villains Blogathon hosted by Silver Screenings, shadowsandsatin and Speakeasy. I have decided to cover Richard Attenborough as Pinkie Brown in John Boulting’s atmospheric Brighton Rock (1947).




Thursday, April 27, 2017

OOTD: watching Chelsea beat Spurs in the pub.

T-shirt: Primark (cost like £1 in the sale, ha!)
Skirt: gift from someone
Tights: Marks and Spencer
Earrings: New Look

I was drunk AF in this picture, as it's in a pub that takes student discount and I was watching my team play a pretty crucial game, haha.

I have been starving myself in an attempt to gain arms like my girlcrush Gal Gadot, and in this picture they actually look semi-satisfactory /self-congratulation

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

My top 10 films of 2016 [10 to 6].

I know it took me long enough to compile this list, but I had to wait until Handmaiden got its UK release before I felt my 2016 list (going by US release dates in order to calibrate my list with all the bloggers I love) was well-researched enough.

Three films which ran Aquarius very close were Hell or High Water, Someone to Talk To and Certain Women. They would take 11-13 places on the list, naturally. 14th would go to Peter Berg's Patriots Day, mind, so you can take my recommendations with a pinch of salt.

10. Aquarius


Friday, April 21, 2017

Are you sure, BBFC?

My Sex and the City season 5 DVD featured one of those old school-style BBFC boxes which I would argue was downright incorrect:


A show called 'Sex and the City' which revolves around the sex lives of four women contains infrequent sex references?? And just sex references, but no sex scenes?

The BBFC examiners for season 5 must have switched off for the entire boxset and just (lazily) churned out a report at the end.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2017

10 Fittest Ladies in Film, 2013.

I had a lot of fun screencap-and-gif-searching for this blog post! The top four, of which three women are in joint second place, has the highest calibre of beautiful women since I started posting this list!

10. Marine Vacth,  Jeune et Jolie 



Saturday, April 08, 2017

Something that goes together about as well as Cara Delevingne and Dane DeHaan.


The only difference is, unlike Delevingne and DeHaan, I enjoy gin (with a tonic) and cream soda ordinarily.  But sampled together, you get one steaming pile of Bye Felicia. The problem is that the cream soda has quite a mild taste, which does nothing to mask the strength of the gin. And it certainly doesn't complement.

So yes, because these two liquids were an absolute fail working together, I'm going to have to refer to Cream Soda + Gin as 'The Valerian'.

Restaurant review: THE GRILL ON THE MARKET (Smithfields)

Just a stone throw's away from where I'm currently doing my thesis, The Grill on the Market is a classy, upmarket venue. Unlike many of its fellow distinguished places in London, it isn't steeped in its own sense of self-importance.

I had a sirloin steak with béarnaise sauce (doesn't sound like me, does it?), and it was succulent, juicy excellence. Although I must admit, I was won over by the meal before I'd even had a bite, such was the cool presentation and the adorable mini-pan which the sauce was served in:


The restaurant also boasted an impressive cocktail selection - I had the One Long Jerry, which was like nothing I'd ever drunk before.  It's the restaurant's most distinguished drink, and with the blend of Sailor Jerry spiced rum, Lillet Blanc liqueur, Luxardo Cherry, lemon juice, maple syrup and thyme, I'm not surprised.

The decor of The Grill on the Market, a charming blend of rustic sofas (downstairs) and more modern padded stools-type decor upstairs, at the bar, meant you could choose an area to sit that suited your preferences/dining arrangements.

I visited The Grill on the Market during a lunchtime when the restaurant was fairly quiet, so the waiter I had brought my food out promptly, and had time to help with drink choices. His style of pastoral care, to give me his opinions but allow complete autonomy of choice, was a far cry from the pushier waiters, who are so thirsty for a tip, they try to force you into having a good time and ordering more. The hard sell never works for me; this more natural, genuine approach which disarmed me of my concerns that I was out of place at such a sophisticated venue, was far more to my liking.

It's not particularly cheap dining here, with the sirloin at £21.75 and £2.50 for the sauce, so I will reserve any future trips here for special occasions only.  But the good news is, with the eclectic cocktail menu and steaks bursting with intense flavour, a return trip is definitely on the cards.

Grade: A-

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I like reviewing restaurants and bars in London; my reviews are compiled here. If you would like me to give some exposure to your restaurant, do email me at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com.

Friday, April 07, 2017

Brief thoughts on four lipbalms I've finished recently.

I don't much like my eyes (which are far too small, even for a Chinese person. *sadface*), so I often try to direct attention to the lower part of my face, instead. And that's why I absolutely love lipglosses and lipbalms, because they fulfil this role so well! [example of me parading my cheeky pout].

Inevitably, due to my predilection for coating my lips in the stuff, I finished four small tubs of lipbalm recently, so here be brief thoughts and grades for each of them: 


Soap & Glory Smooch Operator
I very much have a love/hate relationship with S&G products. When they strive for excellence, their products are better in their field than any of their competitors. When they phone it in, the outcome is bottom of the barrel. This lipbalm, which I got given last April for my birthday and I love so much I only use on nights out and when I'm seeing friends, falls very much in the former camp.

Its ingredients of wild mango butter, vitamin E oil and sweet almond and shea butters make for a lipbalm that is quite sturdy in consistency in the pot, but rubs easily across your lips, and moisturises them very fulfillingly. The feeling of moisture sustains longer than most other lipbalms, and it has an ace smell to go with it. A.

Body Shop Born Lippy - passionberry and strawberry flavours
These lipbalms are softer in texture than the Smooch Operator, and moisturise your lips for slightly less time, so you have to apply it on more frequently. Whereas the Smooch Operator was used purely for social occasions, the two Body Shop ones, had more day-to-day applications.

My feelings about this vary by the two flavours; the strawberry one tasted and smelt too artificial, whereas the passionberry one smelt lush, so much so that it's a nice item to have in your bag just to smell now and then, even if you aren't going to use it.
Pasisionberry: A
Strawberry: C

Vaseline rosy lips: Rose and Almond Oil
Due to its slightly more oily texture and clear(ish) colour, the Vaseline Petroleum jelly is a more versatile product than the other three, which due to their sturdiness (Smooch Operator), or their bright colour (the Body Shop items) can only be used for lipbalms and lipbalms only. The Petroleum jelly can also be used for hand cream, or general moisturiser for parts of the face that are dry.

My only quibble is the smell; whilst not as sickly as the strawberry Body Shop lipbalm, too much of the rose smell gave me a faint headache. I'm currently using the Vaseline Aloe Vera product, which has a more natural smell, and I much favour. B+.

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For the rest of my thoughts on fashion/make-up products, click here. If you would like me to review one of your products, or to place a sponsored post on my blog, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Thursday, April 06, 2017

Bit rich of Scarlett Johansson.

I won one month's access to an app that allows me to read various magazines on my phone from McDonald's Monopoly, which has provided a satisfactory companion for my commutes.

I was browsing one of the magazines when I saw this quote from ScarJo:


Saying we need to support other women sounds very nice in principle but I didn't see her doing as much when she stole a role from an east Asian for Ghost in the ShellGitS underperforming at the US Box Office is apt karma for such brazen whitewashing, if you ask me.

I am so sick of:
a) Hollywood actresses stealing roles from east Asian actresses who struggle with visibility in film enough as it is (ScarJo, Emma Stone, Tilda Swinton), and 

b) white feminists who purport to care about equal rights for women, when all they care about is equal rights for themselves (Jennifer Lawrence, ScarJo, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Chloë Grace Moretz, Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, the list is endless). 

These women would trample over women of colour in a heartbeat if it meant progressing their own (already thriving) careers, yet still want the crown of being ~all inclusive~.

Fuck that.

Wednesday, April 05, 2017

10 Fittest Ladies in Film, 2014.

Happy Hump Day! Here be a previous post in the series. I post male and female lists alternately, every Wednesday.

10. Nina Dobrev, Let’s Be Cops


Monday, April 03, 2017

Restaurant review: THE GRILL at AMBA HOTEL (Marble Arch)

Pre-holiday in Prague, me and the chap hit the town for a steak date. The Groupon deal with which we were dining with was £35 for two steaks (with a side each) and a bottle of wine to share, which, as keen carnivores, we were eager to take advantage of.

Like the LivingSocial deal at Truc Vert, the Amba Hotel was located on one of the sidestreets of Oxford Circus and encouragingly, like the Truc Vert meal, proved to be another online restaurant buy that actually proved to be good value for money.


Sunday, April 02, 2017

Get (that misplaced full stop) Out.

I watched Get Out this evening. Partly because critics and my friends alike have been raving about it,  but mainly because I'm a massive BBFC nerd and I was curious if this typo (a full stop where there should be a comma) would show up on the big screen, before the movie.

Spoiler alert: it did.



Tut tut, BBFC! Not been doing too well recently with all those typos, are we?!

Good movie was good, by the way. Brit Daniel Kaluuya was an ace leading man and Jordan Peele, the comedian, had a surprisingly tight control of the story and plot. Get Out was a horror movie that did not go places I expected it to go.  8/10.

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In case you hadn't realised, I nerd out over the BBFC in a major way. The rest of my studious investigation of them here.

Saturday, April 01, 2017

A strong frontrunner for the worst film of 2017.

I saw this on the Greatest Actress Ever (ahem)'s Instagram:

A sci-fi featuring Dane DeYawn (so called because of those prominent bags under his eyes and his yawn-inducing acting performances) and Upstart Delevingne, to me, just screams Razzie. I can't think of a more sexless couple than DeHaan and Delevingne (other than Dane DeHaan and Felicia Vikander, or Cara Delevingne and Joel Kinnaman).

I can't wait to hate-watch it and tear it to pieces on my blog. 🎬

In the theme of throwing shade at films I've not yet seen, I believe The Big Short is about to have its title stripped as the Most Smug Film of All-Time:




The trailer for Ben Wheatley (director of my pick for the worst film of last year, High-Rise)'s insufferable-looking crime caper was the most wannabe Tarantino thing ever. Just a lot of shooting in a warehouse, Sharlto Copley being incomprehensible and lame banter between caricatures.

Hard pass.

Ben Wheatley and Amy Jump: the most inauspicious matrimony in film since Zack and Deborah Snyder (I went there).


From the BBFC's extended information for Raw. What's a woman's 'public hair', just wondering?

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I write about pretty much anything on this blog. If you would like to advertise your product in a sponsored post, check out my policy on sponsored posts.

Prague, 2017.



Wednesday, March 29, 2017

10 Fittest Men in Film, 2015.

Happy Hump Day! I realised that I enjoy making these shallow lists (and going search for gifs and pngs of evidence of Hollywood stars' gorgeousness) that I will make it a Wednesday Hump Day tradition. A list every week. 2015's ladies list, and 2016's men and women, for those who care to peruse.

The only constraint on the list is that I have to have actually watched the performance which I'm listing.

10. Domhnall Gleeson, Ex Machina


Sunday, March 26, 2017

Restaurant review: TRUC VERT (Mayfair)

Bungled away down one of the hectic Oxford Circus sidestreets is French restaurant Truc Vert. I went last November using a LivingSocial deal but amazingly, it bucked the trend set by their rival deal site, Groupon, in that dining at Truc Vert was actually a positive experience!

Truc Vert has elegant European-style furnishings but graciously, unlike Hawksmoor, say, isn’t so over-ornate that the decorations feel ominous.

For starters, we ordered:


Saturday, March 25, 2017

Tale as old as time... (that Emma Watson can't act)

video

Out of tune singing is out of tune, and clunky guitar-playing is clunky, but at least it's not quite as embarrassing as the other two Emma's, Watson and Stone.

That was the first take, so a bit rubbish. I preferred this audio recording, but annoyingly, couldn't upload it as a video, so if you're not too bored, give that superior version a listen. 😎

I saw Beauty and the Beast on Thursday, and whilst being predictably bored by Emma Watson's blank, passionless face in all her scenes, actually quite enjoyed it. Some of the musical numbers were very entertaining, especially 'Gaston', a song which aptly sums up the mentality of the vast majority of clown guys who I've had the misfortune of having gone on dates with in London.

Only difference is Gaston has more modesty.

Friday, March 17, 2017

A Silent Microaggression.

You know, for a newspaper who loves to lecture their readership about racial stereotyping (in a case of timing you couldn't make up, just four days ago they ran this hectoring piece about Asian stereotypes), you'd think they'd bother to learn the difference between Japanese films:



The caption pertains to A Silent Voice. Yet the image is a still from Your Name. I guess all Japanese animes look the same to Guardian sub-editors.

Perhaps of Guardian writers focused on say, actually doing the research they're paid to do, rather than preaching piously or shagging about, they wouldn't have made such a mistake. Just suggesting.

This isn't the first time they've confused two compatriots, with embarrassing circumstances. In their tribute to the passed away Cruyff, they published a photo of Rob Rensenbrink:


No wonder The Guardian are begging for money now. #FakeNews

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Bonus graphic, from The Evening Standard, which perfectly encapsulates my confusion on how Isabelle Huppert's icy tour-de-force in Elle lost to Yellowface Felicia dancing like she had two left feet:

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Restaurant review: SALVADOR AND AMANDA (Bloomsbury)

I’m slowly starting to get the hang of buying tapas from Groupon. Whereas when you buy cocktail deals, the fact that it’s a deal doesn’t restrict you to having just a subsection of the drinks menu comprising of the cheapest, most basic drinks, but instead, let you order any drink you wish (as testified to by my pleasant experiences drinking at The Escapologist and Adventure Bar). 

However, when you buy tapas deals from Groupon, such as The Cuban in Camden (one of the worst run places I’ve had the misfortune of having visited), which purported to have a RRP of the price of nine full dishes, actually only provided the diner to the most minute, insufficient quantities. Salvador and Amanda is another agonising case where a restaurant has two separate menus for their regular customers, and the plebs who dared to show up with a deal.

Needless to say, the sh_tty sidebitch menu reeked of afterthought; almost as much of an afterthought as Emma Stone's BAFTA speech when she tried to play Katniss political and failed. The voucher holder was entitled to six options from a very limited tapas menu. This is what we went for:

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Nail polish combination & OOTD.

I used the one on the left as the base coat and added the pink sparkles on top. 

Here's how they look:
Dress: ESPRIT
Earrings: New Look
Glasses: Red or Dead

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You may have noticed that I'm now accepting sponsored posts on Anna, Look!. If you'd like to get on board with the gravy train, read my policy here.

Methink the lady doth protest too much.


Emma Watson has been working overtime recently in an attempt to quell rumours about her being too much of a diva to get the lead in La La Land, even saying 'I couldn't care less if I won an Oscar if I didn't feel the film I made said something'.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetie.

Still, I guess she couldn't do La La Land, what with her busy schedule giving shite talks about white feminism.

Another newspaper cutting that attests to my theory that Po-faced Watson is an absolute diva who is completely inability to take a joke:

Sponsored post: 8 Off-the-beaten Attractions in Budapest

Budapest may often be overlooked by travelers; however, it is a worthy rival to other major European gateways. Likewise, it is affordable so even those who are on a budget can have fun in the capital of Hungary. Discover its special sites others don’t know about!

1. Open Book Fountain
The street of Imre Henszlmann features a nice area for walks and dates with matches you’ve met on a real russian dating. The fountain represents itself a large marble tome with its “pages” (imitated by water) being turned by some secret force. Such an original design is supposed to preserve the image of a printed book for next generations.

2. Michael Jackson Memorial Tree
The King of Pop was actually a frequent guest in Budapest. Nearby the luxurious Kempinski Hotel, where the singer stayed many times, there is a park hosting one special tree. Its stem is covered with photos and flowers that dedicated Michael Jackson’s fans constantly bring.

3. Ecseri Flea Market
How about a treasure hunt? I bet Ecseri is one of the most amazing flea markets throughout Europe. Check out books, paintings, jewelry, retro photos, clothes, and lots of other vintage stuff. And yes, you are free to haggle! 

4. Sugar! Shop
Well, it is basically a candy shop and a café offering a dazzling variety of exclusive sweets. Apart from this, it’s located in Paulay Street, right next to Andrassy Avenue – the best-known boulevard in Budapest. So you will instantly get to the city’s main sites from here.

5. Garden of Philosophy
The famous Gellert Hill by the Danube is full or notable spots. However, not so many visitors know about this green area featuring the fine statues of the human history’s prominent figures (like Abraham, Buddha, Hammurabi etc.). The sculptures are intended to represent the entire evolution of our culture. 

6. Cave Church
Speaking about Gellert Hill, I should mention one more interesting spot there. The tiny monastery is set inside the natural system of caves also referred to as Saint Ivan’s Cave. Though it was built in the early 20th century, it contains a couple of important relics and has the unique architecture.

7. House of Hungarian Art Nouveau
If you are in love with the Secession style – or just love antiques – Budapest will give it all to you. One of its greatest buildings used to be the house of Bedő family constructed in 1903. Nowadays, it hosts the impressive collection of exhibits as well as different art events. There is also a café on the ground floor.

8. Red Ruin Bar
Although communism never existed in its literal form, Eastern Europe still bears the imprint of socialism. In Budapest, they prefer approaching it with humor: Red Ruin is a fancy themed pub dedicated to this philosophical movement. The interior combines pop art with propaganda esthetics and red is the main color here. Another good thing – the prices are low.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Restaurant review: MY OLD PLACE (Liverpool Street)

A few weeks ago, me and two of my friends had dinner at My Old Street, a Chinese restaurant that, judging from the online reviews offers great value food, with no frills when it comes to the service.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Sponsored post: The Perfect Age to Get Married If You don’t Want to Get Divorced

“Marry in haste and repent at leisure”, you must have heard your parents using this proverb. The thing is that most parents want their children to slow down when it comes to marriage and make sure that they have chosen the right partner first. And this is quite reasonable, as it is important not to rush the marriage if you don’t want to split up.

Not only the above-mentioned wisdom but also recently conducted studies prove that couples who rush the marriage are more likely to split up. Thus, experts from Utah University came to the conclusion that couples who get married at the age of 28 – 32 have the lowest possibility of divorce.

10 Fittest Males in Film, 2016.

I’ve gone off Ryan Gosling because I still have ear damage from his singing, Dev Patel’s bad acting in Lion put me off him and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, whilst being an absolute babe in real-life and the best husband ever to his lucky wife, played a vile character in Nocturnal Animals, hence their omissions from the list.

The ladies version of the list, if you were curious.

10. Andre Holland, Moonlight 


Friday, March 10, 2017

10 Fittest Women in Film, 2016

I prefer Margot Robbie not covered in white facepaint and acting like a deranged loon, and Rooney Mara’s character in Lion was pure bleh, so neither of my go-to girlcrushes make it on this year’s list, bizarrely.

Obviously my list might differ slightly from your average bloke's, but I’m rating these ladies’ attractiveness with a female gaze [or so I like to think].

10. Felicity Jones, Rogue One

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Bar review: ADVENTURE BAR AND LOUNGE (Covent Garden)

Continuing with my reviews of bars and restaurants in the Covent Garden is Adventure Bar, which boasts a healthy menu of creative drinks and generous Happy Hours. I probably saved a bit more money than I would have spent in the presence of Happy Hour, with a Groupon voucher that entitled the buyer to six cocktails for £24. 

Unlike some other Groupon deals which restrict you in the choice of food and drink you can buy with your voucher, this deal was valid on all the cocktails. An Old Fashioned and 50 Shades of Earl Grey were the first drinks sampled:


Monday, March 06, 2017

Restaurant review: BYRON (Covent Garden)

I’ve had mixed fortunes when it comes to burger joints in London. Places like Tommi’s Burger Joint and Prime Burger were so awful I wouldn’t recommend them to my worst enemy, and other venues which don’t specialise in burgers, seem to treat them as an afterthought (Maxwell’s Bar and Grill, be ashamed. Be very ashamed). Still, due to the sheer majesty of the burgers I’ve had such as Bird, I still haven’t up hope in the capital’s ability to produce delicious burgers just yet.

Byron definitely delivered on the burger front. I had the Smoky burger, with the meat cooked medium rare, and that, along with all the ingredients (mature cheddar, streaky bacon, crispy onions, shredded iceberg, pickles and smoked chilli) rendered this a verifiable feast for the taste buds. You know it was tasty because normally I would object to paying £10 for a burger and no sides, but in this case, I feel the money was well spent. The way all the ingredients complemented each other and bought out the succulence of the steak… heaven.

Saturday, March 04, 2017

Restaurant review: MAXWELL'S BAR & GRILL (Covent Garden)


Just adjacent to Covent Garden underground station is Maxwell's Bar and Grill an American-style diner of TGI Friday's ilk.

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Moonlit dreams.



As I said in my prediction post, I didn’t watch the Oscars live on Sunday, because I anticipated a La La Land sweep, culminating in it winning 8 Oscars, including Best Picture.

In fact, it did win six of the eight I’d predicted it to. It did not, graciously, take Best Sound, because the superlative that should be awarded to its sound is quite the opposite of ‘best’.

But the real miracle was that it also didn’t win Best Picture.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

2017 Oscar predictions.

I love movie stars (films, food and football are my entire life), but I won’t be staying up tonight for this dross. The dressing up box mafia preaching about politics at the BAFTAs was cringe AF and I won’t be subjecting myself to a bunch of millionaires lecturing me again, in addition to the yawn-tastic Blah Blah Land love-in.



Film
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Moonlight
Who might win: In the infinitesimal chance LLL doesn’t walk away with this, Moonlight has about a 0.0007% chance of an upset.
Who should have been nominated: A United Kingdom was ineligible, so Zootopia and er, Café Society. Honestly, it’s way better than Blah Blah Land! The stars in it actually had chemistry! The closing shot of the dreamy looks on Eisenberg & Stewart's faces was far more resonant and moving than that cliched, hackneyed 'what if' montage at the end of LLL.

Director
Who will win: Damien Chazelle for La La Land
Who should win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight
Who might win: Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea. Although the odds of Damien Chazelle losing this is even slimmer than LLL not taking Best Picture. He’s got this sewn up. 
Who should have been nominated: Ken Loach for I, Daniel Blake. Although had he won, he would have just taken the opportunity to hector the audience about what terrible people they were and how he knows better than all of us had he won, so on second thoughts…

Actor
Who will win: Creepy Affleck for Manchester by the Sea
Who should win: Honestly, I wasn’t enamoured with any of the three performances I've watched (Washington, Affleck, Gosling), but if I were to judge them on quality of the acting, Denzel owns this.
Who might win: Denzel Washington for Fences
Who should have been nominated: Chris Pine for Hell or High Water and Jesse Eisenberg for Café Society (JE will have to make do with the Razzie he won yesterday instead)

Actress


Who will win: Emma Stone for La La Land
Who should win: So once, I was on a date with insufferable clown who kept acting like he was the authority on The Wolf of Wall Street (even though he hadn't seen it). I'm afraid I'm now going to be a massive hypocrite and emulate said clown and say Isabelle Huppert, despite not having seen Elle. Because she’s a brilliant actress who’s long overdue, and everyone’s been raving about her icy portrayal of a complex character. 

(and also because I'm hella salty towards Yellowface and the overrated film she was in).

Who might win: Isabelle Huppert for Elle
Who should have been nominated: Amy Adams for Arrival(!!!!) and Emily Blunt for The Girl on the Train. Note: I haven’t seen Aquarius or 20th Century Women.

Supporting Actor
Who will win: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight
Who should win: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight
Who might win: Unfortunately, Dev Patel is going to run Ali close for this Oscar. I think the balance is currently 51/49 in Ali’s favour, but it's so finely judged right now I wouldn’t be surprised if I checked the results tomorrow morning to see Patel has won. I’d be devastated, but not surprised.
Who should have been nominated: Trevante Rhodes for Moonlight (stunning performance and my favourite of the year by far) and Alden Ehrenreich for Hail, Caesar!

Supporting Actress


Who will win: Viola Davis for Fences
Who should win: Viola Davis for Fences. Knockout performance, despite the clunkiness of Denzel Washington’s slightly vain direction doing her no favours. Plus she's a screen queen who never phones it in (see: Suicide Squad) who's well overdue.
Who might win: Michelle Williams for Manchester by the Sea
Who should have been nominated: Lily Gladstone for Certain Women and Hayley Squires for I, Daniel Blake.

Original Screenplay
Who will win: Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea
Who should win: Taylor Sheridan for Hell or High Water
Who might win: Damien Chazelle for La La Land 
Who should have been nominated: Jared Bush and Phil Johnston for Zootopia, and the Paedo for Café Society. But he's a paedo so who cares.

Adapted Screenplay
Who will win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight
Who should win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight
Who might win: Eric Heisserer’s slow-burning, cerebral script for Arrival has a fair bit of awards momentum, but if anyone’s going to trump Moonlight it’ll be Lion’s script due to the sheer brazenness of the Weinstein Company’s campaign. Just remember how hard they and Felicia Vikander campaigned for her fraudulent category Oscar last year. And Felicia saw the gold, so. 

(Sidebar: The Weinstein Company are really trying to make that wannabe Leonardo DiCaprio, Dane DeYawn happen. Just check out this (unintentionally) hilarious trailer to Tulip Fever, which stars DeHaan and their girl Felicia:) 

Who should have been nominated: Liu Zhenyun for Someone to Talk To and Whit Stillman for Love and Friendship

Editing
Who will win: Hacksaw Ridge. The vast majority of my predictions are copy+paste jobs from Nathaniel’s blog, but I disagree with him that LLL has this locked up. Hacksaw Ridge won the BAFTA in this category and seems to have ‘more’ editing in the in-your-face meaning of the word, so I’ve gone for that for my prediction. 

Plus, this category, in recent years, has thrown up a few surprises, particularly The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’s win in this category, meaning Editing is no long an automatic vote for the film Academy voters enjoyed the most.

(Obviously, I’m just deluded and refuse to accept a LLL sweep).

Who should win: Moonlight
Who might win: La La Land


Score
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Jackie
Who might win: Passengers, because the fact that Thomas Newman (who's haunting scores for Finding Nemo, The Shawshank Redemption, American Beauty and Road to Perdition are part of the reason I persevered with the violin when the going got hard) doesn't have an Oscar but Jennifer Lawrence does is a bit *clown music*. But I think LLL's got a tight grip on this, so he'll have to keep waiting for his Oscar.

Song
Who will win: 'Shitty of Stars', La La Land despite the fact that Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone's duet of it hurt my ears even more than the Boston accents in Manchester by the Sea did
Who should win: 'How Far I'll Go' from Moana
Who might win: there’s a chance that due to Blah Blah Land having two bland songs in this category ('Audition' being the other), they might split the vote, with some people voting for 'Shitty of Stars', and the others voting for 'Yawndition', there’s a glimmer of hope that Moana might be the beneficiary. I would love this.
Who should have been nominated: ‘Never Give Up’ by Sia, for Lion. It played over the closing credits whilst set to footage of the real Saroo’s journey and that in itself was more poignant than the majority of the movie.

I most certainly would not have nominated Shakira's song in Zootopia, which despite me loving both the film and the singer, was one of the most saccharine songs ever, and downright irresponsible in its suggestion that 'I wanna try everything I wanna try even though I could fail'. I daresay parents of children who decide to try to fly off the top of a building wouldn't be quite as fond of such a lyric.

Cinematography
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Moonlight
Who might win: Lion

Sound
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Arrival
Who might win: Hacksaw Ridge
Who should have been nominated: Kubo and the Two Strings

Sound Editing
Who will win: Hacksaw Ridge
Who should win: Anyone other than La La Land. I couldn't hear what they were mumbling half the time!
Who might win: La La Land
Who should have been nominated: Kubo and the Two Strings

Animated Film
Who will win: Zootopia
Who should win: Zootopia, although I love Kubo and the Two Strings, too. Both are 8.5/10s in my book and in my current top 6 of 2016.
Who might win: Kubo and the Two Strings. The surprise BAFTA win will definitely give their producers some hope, but ultimately, I think Zootopia’s charm is too strong.
Who should have been nominated: Nothing I can think of. Certainly not that over-long and over-convoluted Your Name, or that phoned in, disappointing sequel, Finding Dory. And DEFINITELY not that unbelievably unfunny, wannabe edgy Sausage Party. #ByeFelicia

Documentary Feature
Who will win: The 13th
Who should win: Haven’t seen any of them.
Who might win: OJ: Made in America

Foreign Film
Who will win: The Salesman. London Trafalgar Square is actually hosting a screening of this film today at 4:30pm, which I was intending on going to, but unfortunately I have some freelance programming work that needs to be done, so guttingly, I’m sitting this one out.
Who should win: Haven’t seen any of them.
Who might win: Toni Erdmann.
Who should have been nominated: Julieta

Makeup and Hair
Who will win: Star Trek Beyond
Who should win: Don’t care
Who might win: Suicide Squad
Who should have been nominated: A bit random, but I would go with Moonlight, for how they transformed Naomie Harris (who is 40 in real life but looks younger than Emma Stone, 28 #JustSaying) from the sleek Moneypenny we’re used to seeing, to a haggard druggie.



Visual Effects
Who will win: The Jungle Book
Who should win: Kubo and the Two Strings, hands down. Those origami battles were astonishing.
Who might win: Inception with A-levels, aka Doctor Strange
Who should have been nominated: Not Batman v Superman or Suicide Squad's distractingly bad effects, that’s for sure. I’m just surprised the Academy voters didn’t honour La La Land here, seeing as they seem to be giving out nominations to that Hollywood-fellating movie like smarties.

Production Design

Who will win: Unfortunately, La La Land
Who should win: Arrival
Who might win: Fantastic Oscar-Beggers and Where to Find Them
Who should have been nominated: Love and Friendship and Jackie

Costume
Who will win: I refuse to believe LLL will take this for some suits & skinny ties and Emma Stone’s colourful dresses. That would be one of the most egregious and lazy wins in Oscar history. I refuse to believe it and am refusing to predict it, even though it probably will. But I’m stubbornly predicting Jackie
Who should win: Jackie
Who might win: La La Land
Who should have been nominated: Café Society and Love and Friendship

I don’t predict short films, so I make that 8 wins for La La Land, which is excessive, to say the least, but given that they actually could win 13 (ties aren’t possible under this preferential ballot system), I’ll cut my losses and take 8. No more, please!

And if Mahershala loses to Dev Patel, then the Weinstein Company will have done their worst. As misdirected penance, I will write a scathing review of Tulip Fever on my blog (although let’s be real, it stars Dane DeYawn and Felicia Vikander. I was totally planning on doing that regardless). That'll teach them.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Ranked: the 2017 Best Picture nominees (part 2)

Part 1, aka the three I disliked the most, were discussed here. Now for 5-1, ranging from 'I quite enjoyed with, with reservations' to 'I absolutely bloody loved it'.

05. Lion


Wednesday, February 22, 2017

I’m so Thirsty (You already know).

When I’m not whining about how terrible the music in La La Land was (the only thing flatter than Emma Stone’s singing is her chest. #IWentThere), I like to sample a wide range of food and drink. My brother, graciously, shares this passion, so when he was back home over the Christmas holidays we basically raised Tesco and just bought whatever drinks we thought looked pretty.

Here be photos of and brief thoughts on said buys!